You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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