nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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