people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize