Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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