Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
