I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
It's blow job season.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize