Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
