shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He has the fingertips of a God
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
