Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize