I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
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mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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