then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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