I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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