take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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