I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
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