You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
