I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
