he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
