His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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