i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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