i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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