Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I have aggressive nipples.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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