i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
