It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
