Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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