she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
