garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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