His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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