My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
