if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Randomize
