The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
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Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
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I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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