My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
