I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
