You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
