And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
