I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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