girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
