Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
