I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
