is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
