I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
