Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
