I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i believe in u and ur pee
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