Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Randomize
