I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
