He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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