was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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