Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
