If you die in college, do you die in real life?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Two words: blizzard sex
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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