So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
