when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
