I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize