My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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