I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
