so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
