I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...