it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
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He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
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I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.