Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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