It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
