We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
