Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you win again, gameday.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
