I don't usually arrange sex via text message
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
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