just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
