There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
How external is "for external use only"?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
