2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
