My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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