yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
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