I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
